Squaremeat "Astronomical Coffee Break"

Audio blowjob!

Squaremeat consists of the two freaks Pepe Kosminen & Francois Faggott� Probably the most prominent producers of the �ber-weird, Finnish trance� This is the fourth album under the Squaremeat moniker and under different names these guys have loads more releases under their belts� As a definite sign of quality, the release outlet is Exogenic Records� Home to some of the most deranged audio madness ever released within our scene� Fuck yes; it�s time for another batch of sonic wizardry from up north�

Let me take you thru the tracks�

#01: Platypus
The guys don�t waste time on boring intro tracks � we�re launched straight into funky, Finnish sauna-trance! This is one of my fav�e tracks here� The static intro, the deep, correlated blunt beats and the general feeling of dark, deep psychedelia� Kinda minimal, but yet so rich in the most minute detail� Hectic yes, but oh so powerful� The nifty little acid-bits are well-placed and the break-down works really well� Sweet track!

#02: Liukutaklaus
More full frontal psychedelia here � Squaremeat style� The rhythm section is pretty interesting � it�s cut-up, sped down, vocoded and utterly mutilated � but it works like a charm� The real charm though, is the �ber-psychedelic mid-section which reminds me of ancient Psy-Harmonics stuff� Drenched in acid and funky as a motherfucker� Also the percussion goes down really well here� My only gripe is the speed of this choon � it�s too damn fast! I can barely absorb it all with this insane pace� Use this one to scare your neighbours!

#03: Front Side Rock �n� Roll
Rock n roll indeed� After the first couple of held-back minutes, the track really starts to unfold into a deep, potent trance-fest of shroomy proportions� The tweaked guitars take care of the rock n roll bit, and the pounding rhythm-section makes sure you don�t forget where you are� Add enough old-school wall-to-wall psychedelia and you�ve got a winner� Although this is evidently one of the more accessible tracks, it took me a while to get into� But once you�re there, you�ll never look back� This is an extremely powerful track� Gargantuan even!

#04: Static Trafic
Fuck yes � this is even better� The bassline is sharper and crispier here � with enough flaring acid-lines and twirling melodies to appeal to a wider audience� I really dig the outer-worldly spin that seems to be put on this track! If the previous tracks haven�t catapulted you to space, this one will� This is triiiiiiippy! Best track so far!

#05: Evaporator
Woow � this one is spot on! This reminds me of the sound of Wave Soup which I used to flip out to back in 2000� Acid-driven, hyper-active, �ber-hectic, pixelated sauna-trance when it�s best� Old-school, yet timeless � funky, yet distorted� Fast-paced, in-ya-face psychedelia� Check out the cool bassline half-way through � that one will bang your eardrums for years to come� Awesome! Shroomadelic track!

#06: 2 2 Tango
This track has everything � �cept tango! This is on big ol� melting pot of flaring electro riffs, groovy percussion bits, EDM blurps, sharp acid-stabs, bubbling psychedelia --- and everything in between! Holy shit � this is so frekkin intense and hypnotizing at the same time� You know when you�ve been Tango�d! Triptastic!

#07: Shinkansen RMX
This track has one of the sweetest intros of the album � atmospheric as hell; it just sucks you in� The track itself is more fast-paced, lively, bubbly electro-hissing bizarro-trance� Rich in detail with enough Japanese gibberish thrown in to freak you out� I like the sped-up wobbly effect here � kinda melodic, but still chaotic in the way only Finns can do it� Experimental to say the least, and not as funky as its predecessors� A decent track!

#08: Pure Caffeine
Time for the astronomical coffee break? Yeah, this is by far the most easy-accessible track here � and for that I�m grateful� It�s good to calm down a little after a heavy dose of sauna beats� Again we�re treated to a very nice, harmonic intro� Beautiful even� When the beats are presented we�re still in a well-polished state, with spiralling synth melodies, epic flutes and soft percussion + of course the banging Squaremeat bassline & breakz just to piss everyone off� A very nice track!

#09: Go Away
This track has a more housey approach to Finn-trance� But rest assured, it�s still very much Finn-trance in all its wicked glory� Seasoned with electronic farts, digital burps and the phattest bassline this side of the Moog� Nice, but unfortunately also kinda forgettable�.

#10: Queen Of The Night
�Got milk? � Have a helicopter ready � we need it now! � Read my lips!� I dunno if it�s appropriate to talk about an oddball track on an Exogenic release � but if there ever was one, this is it� A highly experimental, housey, hybrid-track fusing together a thousand pieces� Repeated, funny voice samples, cut-up beats and breakz, twirling melodies, synth-action, groovy bassline, etc� This track has it all � without going over the top� In fact, this is very pleasant and if I had to, I could play this to my dad and he�d nod his head� Yeah � my dad is cool, and so is this track� ;o)

And this is where things could have ended� But as a very, very cool feature this enhanced CD offers download of another eight Squaremeat tracks� As a thank-you to people who bothered to buy the damn CD instead of just downloading it� So � let�s take another stroll with the Squares�

Let me take you thru the bonus tracks�

#01: Finnish Kedish
�That�s it� As far as I�m concerned, my job is done!� Yeah, this is more full-power psychedelia� Very cool this one with its evident hard-house hints and its morphing, aggressive synth-stabs� A very focussed, driving track � teKknoid in appearance and definitely darker than most else here, but I like it dark� Straight from the deepest, darkest Finnish forests� Stellar track!

#02: Kohtalon Ivaa
�Disco� Disco� Disco!� Do not let yourself be deceived � this may be disco but seldom have I laid ears to a more deranged version of disco than this� Instantly groovy; this is a hard-hitting, gut-dropping piece of work� Psychedelic in nature, rich in detail, and oh so fucking sweet� The electro link is evident and goes perfectly hand in hand with the Finnish bonbons handed to us here� Gulp! Another brilliant track!

#03: Kukko Bill
Check out the very cool, Squarepusher�esque, perverted intro� Fuck � this is seriously deranged� Cut-up beats and breakz, steam-engine bassline, trippy twirling acid-lines and enough psychedelia to go around twice� Oh, and I really, really dig the old-school Raja-flute bit towards the end� Damn, I�m sure this could cause severe brain-damage if listened to whilst on LSD� It should really come with a parental advisory sticker� Amazing track!

#04: Mexico Hatsico
�I was four years old and I saw this silver basketball on the ground. There were blinking lights all around. A square opening, with a grid opened up and they wanted me to put faeces into it!� Wow � a spacy, electro intro sets the pace here� The bassline is ever changing and the overall weirdness is very much intact here� Bouncy as hell and as funky as James Brown�Check out all the little melodies that float around all over the place� Nice! A funky number, with a brilliant sample!

#05: Right Choice
Haha � now we�re doing psychedelic line dance! Complete with guitar-riffs, dripping acid your far-out space-cowboy psychedelia� The groove is so damn thick here � it�s dripping down the walls� You�re getting hypnotized here � and you don�t even have to open your eyes! Another sweet, sweet track!

#06: Thunder Thumb
Another beautifully executed intro� Flute, birds singing, native chanting, deep tribal beats, etc� Pure bliss! � And then BAM � the Squaremeat explosion! Sweet mother of Ghandi � this is the most intense, ripping, mindblowing track so far� Reminds me of Juno Reactor � with the unique, ultra-phat Squaremeat touch to it� A track with orchestral proportions! Trippy as hell! Hands down, the best track here! Perfection!

#07: Tunturi Haitari
We stay in wonderland on this funky number� Sharp electro hisses, a driving rhythm section and nice, melodic pads in the background� Add a big splash of psychedelia, and you�re left with another full-blow party choon� Watch out, or those multilayered melodies will get inside your head like little, drilling worms�

#08: Turkey Dance
Things are wrapped up with a dance for Turkey� or a turkey dance! You decide! The intro is absolutely soaked in nifty acid-drops� It�s coming out the wood-work! And soon enough we�re exposed to the most sought-after Squaremeat jungle boogie sound� Extraterrestrial cyber-funk designed to make you soil your armour� Relentless, border-crossing stuff here� A genre-bender just like the others� A good track, but not among the best of the bonus tracks� But still a nice track for coming down from the long, 18 track trip� ;o)

Well I�ll be damned, if the bonus tracks aren�t better than the actual CD tracks� Don�t get me wrong, the actually CD is indeed impressive, highly unique and trippy as hell� Definitely worth a purchase just for those tracks � but the bonus tracks are even better! That�s right � this is the best damn anti-piracy device I�ve ever seen � those 8 golden tracks are nothing short of brilliant� I�m so glad to own the CD that holds the key to download these lovelies� You really, really, REALLY get your moneys worth with this CD� And as if the music wasn�t raison d'�tre enough to buy this CD, you also get to own the coolest CD artwork I�ve seen in years� If you haven�t seen it already, you must check out the deeply trippy, super-detailed, funny artwork by Seth/Flowering Nose� And don�t let yourself be fooled by the front-cover alone� This artwork stretches all the way into the digipack! The detail level is impressive! Pure brilliance!

So � is it all good? Well, yes and no! It depends on how well you absorb the special Finnish sound really! Personally, I need it in smaller doses! I�ve used this analogy before, but it�s the best way I can describe it� Listening to Finnish trance is like drinking whiskey to me � a couple of shots are good, but drinking the whole bottle makes me barf� And as such, I don�t find this CD perfect for home-listening� I need smaller doses, but when consumed in smaller doses, this is one helluva ride� Equally mind-blowing, ass-wiggling and sensory challenging� It�s a real fucking treat for more than just your ears! But beware � this sound isn�t for everyone! I�d advise a listen before purchase � but rest assured, the bonus tracks are indeed a bonus� They are even better than an already good CD! So � check it out, if you like genre-bending, hi-quality music� This is as good as it gets! Enjoy!

Favourites:
CD tracks: 1, 3, 4(!), 5(!!), 6(!), 8, 10(!)
Bonus tracks: 1(!!), 2(!), 3(!!), 4(!), 5, 6(!!!), 8

DeathPosture

External links:
Exogenic Records: http://www.exogenic.com
Squaremeat: http://www.squaremeat.net
Saiko Sounds: http://tinyurl.com/7es8t
TranceShop: http://tinyurl.com/cud2t
Discobole: http://tinyurl.com/ahwbg
Wirikuta: http://tinyurl.com/7kaqn
Psyshop: http://tinyurl.com/8zasm
Ajuca: http://tinyurl.com/d6gwj
Chaos: http://tinyurl.com/9lqff
Juno: http://tinyurl.com/a3ctw